I Don't Want To Talk About It

3/21/2016

This was a hard post because I'm going to put this whole post as bluntly as possible.

I don't want to talk about it. 

Here is what we are dealing with and here is why I don't care to discuss my life with you unless I initiate it:

A was recently diagnosed with ADHD. A majority of people now a days have heard of it. Yeah, the hyper kid that can't focus. That's us. Plus more. 

He runs away. It's called fight or flight. When faced with an obstacle he either fights (kicks, punches, spits, swears, flips people off, etc) or he runs. Yes, across busy streets, out of class and out of school. 

He also spends a majority of the day filled with anxiety over social situations. His brain is speeding and yet there is a major traffic jam. 

He has sensory issues. Tags on clothes, sock seams, smells, food textures and sounds. 

If he has one small thing happen in the morning, he can't recover. His day is shot and we spend the day walking on egg shells. 

I spend a better part of my waking hours between school and doctors appointments. I am tired. 

So I don't want to talk about it. When I see you in the school yard and you ask how he is, thank you. But I don't want to talk about it. 

When I've spent numerous hours with psychologist talking about symptoms and coping skills, I don't want to then turn around and talk some more. 

I now eat, sleep and breathe mental and social disabilities. And so does A. He is constantly being shuttled from councillors to doctors to therapist. He is tired of hearing about his "issues" and the last thing he wants to hear is mama talking about all these things that make him sad because he is "different". Yes, he thinks he is different. He cries about not being like other, about not controlling his impulses. 

So no, we don't want to talk about it anymore. We will fill you in on the important stuff. And when I need a shoulder, a good cry or just someone to say it will be ok, I will come to you.

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