I Use To Judge Other Parents

There. I said it.

I was that judgmental parent. The kind that I look at now and remind myself that karma. It's real.

Thou shalt not judge. I was raised on this. But yet I was one to give the stink eye to everything I am now.

1. "Don't let your kids sleep with you".

• Sleep is a very precious thing and when you have a child that wakes at 2am and will not go back to sleep, you pull down the covers, put on Nick at Nite and invite them into bed. I don't care what age they are......sleep is sleep. Especially when they are the energizer bunny from 6am - 8pm on a normal basis.

      2. "Fast food is the devil......specifically McDonalds"

• Chicken Nuggets are a god send. I'm happy your child eats fruits and veggies but my child only eats foods that are beige in color. Carbs all day long. Children are starving all over the world....I'm just happy he actually eats. Drive thru here we come!!!

       3. "Cook one meal and if he doesn't eat it, go to bed hungry".

• Tonight I made chicken nuggets for one child, spaghetti for another and then dinner for me and hubs.  3 meals is easier then listening to one child complain, meltdown and otherwise ruin MY peaceful dinner. Also, refer to #2 because he doesn't eat anything but foods that are beige.

       4. "He's too old/too big to ride in the shopping cart"

• I agree with this because who honestly wants to push around an 84lb child in a grocery store cart? The alternate however, is him running through the store, touching everything on the shelves, picking all the beige food he could possibly eat and having numerous adults tell me how to discipline my child. No thank you. So into the carriage he goes and we pray nothing triggers a meltdown.

I no longer judge. I wanna high five the mom pushing her kid in the shopping carriage. Who knows, she may have been up all night with a rambunctious child and her only hope of completing grocery shopping is promises of McDonalds' chicken nuggets (don't forget the ketchup).

Humanity Stopped Listening

I know I am not alone when I say the 2016 political year has been ugly.

UGLY

No matter what news report you listen to, no matter what online source you follow, it is all hateful. There came a point when the issues were forgotten and it became a he said/she said tantrum of events. I cringe when I log onto social media, a place where I share stories about my children, a place where I go to follow friends I don't get to see often, and all I see are repulsive attitudes. Cyber bullying at it's finest.

So as I normally write about autism and disabilities, how does this relate to my root cause?

I often wonder how I can expect society to accept my child, to be kind, to teach your own children about acceptance, when in fact society can't practice it themselves?

I tend to think I will spend the rest of my life on this earth fighting the fight, fighting his fight. Being that mama bear that has to protect it's young because I have no faith in humanity.

When I have friends still using the word "retarded" to refer to a political figure, I guess they are not my friends after all. When you belittle someone online for their political choice, you are a bully. Plain and simple. And while I hope you are not passing that mentality on to your children, the ones that sit with my son at lunch, chance are they are learning it from you.

Remember when your mom taught you "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

Humanity stopped listening to their mom.

WHEN THE MEDS WEAR OFF

My phone has 3 alarms set: 7:00am, 12:00pm and 5:00pm. These are A's med times and I try not to waiver too much. If by chance he sleeps in on a Saturday or Sunday, the times may be pushed forward by an hour but for the most part we stick to the plan. And the plan works.

That is until this momma forgets because we were having too much fun to remember. I'm still new to this autism life and this weekend I did the unthinkable: I forgot to give him his mid-day dose AND we went out!!!! The horror!!!

Actually, for me it wasn't so bad because that was the A I was used to for so long. The hyper, aggressive, spin in circles, repeat after me, never shut up A.

But I was afraid of what the family would think. 

Essentially, only me, husband and the kids have seen really what A is capable of. We have friends and family that have seen some meltdowns, maybe a few tics but not many have witnessed a 6 year old destroy a classroom, flip over desks, pull computers off tables and rips pictures straight off the wall.

So when I realized I had forgotten to give A his meds, I scolded myself for not carrying spare medication in my purse. It all worked out in the end, we got him his medicine and he went back to enjoying his Saturday afternoon.

But it got me thinking......why was I so embarrassed for people to see A's personality? Essentially, why was I embarrassed of my son?

I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't embarrassment, it was me being a mother that didn't want to "burden" others with what I have dealt with. We do that as moms. We take on the world. Our shoulders are strong but after a while we start to wobble....we can't hold it all up. That moment of A being A, should have been welcoming, allowing others a glimpse into our life.

We struggle but our struggle is understanding how A sees the world. Letting people see A without his medication will allow them to better understand his life, our life and Autism in general.