When Someone Listens

4/11/2016

A lot of times when we are screaming for help, we just want someone to listen. I use the word screaming because over the past months I've asked politely, I've requested, I've even spoken a little louder to get attention, yet I felt like no one was listening. Finally I screamed. And it was only after A screamed at us for help.

When you have a child use the words "I hate myself" and "I want to die", you panic. When it's your 6 year old, a small piece of you dies inside because you feel like you've failed him. 

What you really did was teach him to scream when he needs help. It was 2 months ago that he screamed and in turn, we screamed. 

We spent the evening at Boston Children's Hospital being evaluated for A's well being. His official discharge papers said he had a "tantrum". We call these episodes at home. What we have learned is he was probably having a major anxiety attack and couldn't deal with his feelings. In his little 6 year old head, he just wanted to be calm.

After that day, we started screaming. At pediatricians, psychologists, teachers, school officials. Everyone. And they started to listen. 

We got a formal diagnoses of ADHD. Then we started medication. Then we switched medication because the first round didn't work well for the little guy. Major side effect city!!!

He was then diagnosed with Unspecified Anxiety Disorder and we finalized his IEP with the school. 

Then came the big one. In my heart I knew for a few months but no one was pointing it out. No one even mentioned the slightest possibility. Until we met the right doctor. We finally didn't have to scream. He picked up all the small "quirks". I showed him videos of how he acted at home. 

He looked at me yesterday and said "I believe he is on the Autism Spectrum. 

I smiled. I knew in my heart. And I was happy. 

Happy that after all the screaming, we can finally work towards giving A the quality of life he deserves. 

This is still the beginning. The road will be long, winding and bumpy but we will travel it together. 

He may not be your typical child but his differences make him one of the coolest kids I know. 

Sometimes you just have to scream to be heard. Don't stop screaming. 

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