Dear Me Six Months Ago

Dear Me,

As you sit here in the doctor's office waiting to find out A's diagnosis, I want to let you know a few things.

It is going to be a long road. Life as you know it will change. But it will get easier. Each day you will celebrate accomplishments, even on the toughest days. But it will get easier.

When you are at your weakest, you will find this is when your other kids are strong. They will lead A, teach him and love him for who he is. They will understand his struggles. And they will be your strength when you feel like you have given all you can give.

You will meet amazing people in the ASD community. Some will be local, some will be online. All will become your friends. And all are routing for A.

It is okay to say no. When you are invited to holiday events and birthday parties, it is okay to say this just doesn't work for us. This doesn't work for A. Saying no is okay.

He is still the same silly boy that loves wrestling, doing flips and playing soccer. Regardless of what they tell you, he is still A.

You will cry. In the shower, in the car and cry your self to sleep. CRY! It's already a scary world we live in....you will wonder how he will maneuver it when you are gone. But when you are done crying, wipe away the tears and fight. Fight so that you don't have to worry about his future.

More then anything, love him deeply. Tell him every day. There can be cruel people in the world and no doubt he will come across them. So love him with a strength more powerful then words.

Sincerely,

The Future (Stronger) You

10 Things My Autistic Child Has Taught Me

Raising a child on the spectrum can be tough. Some days I seriously don't know how we got through the day.

But each day we do.

Each day is a learning experience, not just for A but for all of us. It is not just his world but our world as well.

If he has taught me anything, it has been to never doubt myself as a parent......oh and these other 10 things below:

1. You will learn you have way more patience then you ever thought you had. 
2. You wear a pair of invisible boxing gloves because you are always prepared for a fight.
3. Throw out all the advice from parenting books because 4 hours of television and 2 hours on the tablet make our Saturdays a lot calmer.
   
4. Your child will not be harmed from eating pizza and chicken nuggets every.single.day.
5. For a kid that hates loud noises, he makes a lot of them himself.
6. Professionals know a lot about autism but no one knows my child like I do.
7. People will stare. Take the opportunity to educate them on ASD.
8. It's okay to worry about their future, just don't let it take over the present. Enjoy every moment.
9. Watching him sleep gives me peace, knowing his brain is getting a little rest.
10. No matter how hard the days get, how long the journey becomes, I would never change who my child is.

Extra Super Moon...Be Very Afraid!!!!

On November 14th, the moon will make it's closest pass to earth since 1948. Did I mention it will also be a full moon? I guess this bad boy has a name.

An EXTRA SUPER MOON!!!

ASD parents prepare.....get your bottle's of wine ready because this is not going to be good.

For those unfamiliar with the ASD world, on autism board across the world, you'll find parents posting about their child's changes during a full moon. They seem to get a little angrier, a little grumpier and a little more emotional.

We have watched A's behavior during the average full moon. He becomes a bit crankier, uneasy to sooth and nights become sleepless. Seriously, who doesn't want to watch Nick @ Nite at 2am. Just when I thought life with A couldn't get any more "wonkier" then it is, it does!

Now I am not calling my child a lunatic however, there is a reason it comes from the word "lunar". Just saying.

So while there are Doomsday preppers filling basements with gallons of water and batteries, call this mama a Full Moon prepper.

Wine? Check!

Stocked Keurig coffee collection? Check!

Proper shoes for walking on eggshells? Check!

Now we wait........

What Do You Know About High Functioning Autism?

Many of those on the spectrum have tics. Whether they spin, flap their arms or chew their (toe)nails, it allows them to "self sooth" when they are overwhelmed, excited, upset or anxious.

A's major tic is nail biting. Fingers and toes, he does not discriminate. He becomes fixated on it to the point that we've had bloody fingers and practically missing toenails. And did I mention, he hates band aids? Many of those in A's life don't see this part of him.

There are so many things that go unseen in the world of A. Because of this, I often hear that "he must be high functioning" or "he looks like he is doing well".

A has his moments when he can "pass". Pass you ask? Yup, pass for being a neurotypical kid. From the moment he wakes, to socializing in school, to getting through homework without help or a complaint. He can pass.

Ask us at 2am when he is wide awake watching TV for hours if he is doing well though.

When he sits in the back seat of my car talking to his big brother and repeats one word, so softly you can barely hear it, over and over and over. That's his Palilalia (click here to learn more about it). I listened to the name Christopher over and over for a good 30 seconds this morning.

When he tells me he doesn't want to live anymore because of his "stupid autism", I am not seeing a high functioning little boy.

No, he may not be in a wheel chair so his disabilities may go unseen to the average person. But they are there, he lives with them day in and day out.

Why must we separate those with Autism into "functioning" categories? When we do this, we are just creating another label in a world where we are judged by these labels. That "high functioning" kid doesn't need as much therapy because he's barely autistic, right? Or maybe you'd assume that the non-verbal child on the spectrum is "low functioning" because they can't communicate? Or can they?

When people can't necessarily see a disability, it's like they need a word to define the degree of the disability.

Bottom line is high and low functioning labels are pointless. Acknowledge that every autistic individual has their own sets of strengths and weaknesses and focus on getting them the support to deal with both