I Use To Judge Other Parents

There. I said it.

I was that judgmental parent. The kind that I look at now and remind myself that karma. It's real.

Thou shalt not judge. I was raised on this. But yet I was one to give the stink eye to everything I am now.

1. "Don't let your kids sleep with you".

• Sleep is a very precious thing and when you have a child that wakes at 2am and will not go back to sleep, you pull down the covers, put on Nick at Nite and invite them into bed. I don't care what age they are......sleep is sleep. Especially when they are the energizer bunny from 6am - 8pm on a normal basis.

      2. "Fast food is the devil......specifically McDonalds"

• Chicken Nuggets are a god send. I'm happy your child eats fruits and veggies but my child only eats foods that are beige in color. Carbs all day long. Children are starving all over the world....I'm just happy he actually eats. Drive thru here we come!!!

       3. "Cook one meal and if he doesn't eat it, go to bed hungry".

• Tonight I made chicken nuggets for one child, spaghetti for another and then dinner for me and hubs.  3 meals is easier then listening to one child complain, meltdown and otherwise ruin MY peaceful dinner. Also, refer to #2 because he doesn't eat anything but foods that are beige.

       4. "He's too old/too big to ride in the shopping cart"

• I agree with this because who honestly wants to push around an 84lb child in a grocery store cart? The alternate however, is him running through the store, touching everything on the shelves, picking all the beige food he could possibly eat and having numerous adults tell me how to discipline my child. No thank you. So into the carriage he goes and we pray nothing triggers a meltdown.

I no longer judge. I wanna high five the mom pushing her kid in the shopping carriage. Who knows, she may have been up all night with a rambunctious child and her only hope of completing grocery shopping is promises of McDonalds' chicken nuggets (don't forget the ketchup).

What This ASD Family Wants You To Know

I see you.

You've changed your profile picture on Facebook to "Light It Up Blue".

You've liked my posts related to autism.

You may have even changed your outside lights to blue bulbs to show your support.

But what are you REALLY doing to understand and support those with autism?

1. Acknowledge that those on the spectrum, their families and loved ones and not just looking for you to be aware of autism, they and us, are looking more for ACCEPTANCE.

2. Teach. If you are a parent, please teach your children to be friends with the kids that are different. Teach them to be compassionate and understanding. Teach them to protect and defend the more vulnerable kids. If you are a teacher, make sure part of your classroom lesson includes peer inclusion. The world can be a very lonely place and depression is far more common in those with developmental disabilities.

3. Its called "Autism SPECTRUM Disorder" because there is a broad range or disorders. So while you may know someone whose child flaps her arms, the next child on the spectrum might not. Never assume our children will act a certain way.

4. There is no cure. Mr. A will be autistic forever. Kids grow up into adults and we have to focus on our adult ASD society as much as children.


The biggest thing you can do is be aware ALL YEAR LONG. Not just April.

Good Doesn't Mean Great....But Its Not Bad Either

When it's good, it's good.

Like really, really good.

In the past 4 months, A has found his rhythm. I've caught him reading to himself, using polite words, brushing his teeth by himself. Small victories to most, these are big wins in our household.

However.......

Then you get a call from school and your anxiety goes through the roof because why would the school call. (We live in a world of anxiety during school hours).

Well, they call because the computer didn't load fast enough and A thought he would miss out on computer time. His favorite time.

Dear Apple.....thank you! Thank you for iPads and iMacs.

So he threw a chair, flipped a table and ran to his adjustment councilor, his "safe" place. After going to the Occupational Therapy room for some sensory stimulation, he then cried (post meltdown emotional release) because he realized it wasn't the great day he promised mom when he said good-bye that morning.

No matter how good it can be, no matter how much therapy he attends or medication he takes, he still and will forever be autistic.

Always.

There is no cure. No magic pill and no amount of therapy that will take it all away.

He will never be neurotypical.

So when I say it's good, really really good, it just means we are staying afloat.

We have our arm floaties on.

Why We Chose To Medicate

You know, I was that mom.

The thought of pumping my child full of drugs scared me.

I looked into diet changes, therapy, schedule changes.

I didn't want my child to me a "zombie"......I didn't want to change his personality.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Yup, that is me laughing now when I look back and realize my child was a zombie before we started medication. He had a personality that was mean, aggressive and miserable.

Have you seen a 6 year old destroy an entire classroom?

I currently do not have a toilet paper holder because he ripped it right off the wall.

I've run down the street, chasing a barefoot kid running away because it doesn't know how to cope.

Now, 10 months since starting his first medication (which gave him horrible side effects) and experimenting with different types, different dosages, I can say medication gave us our son back. He's not a zombie but a fun loving kid that is now able to enjoy life. His Ritalin allows him to focus in school. The Tenex helps with his impulses, OCD and anxiety. Have you heard a 7 year old say I want to die? I don't hear it anymore since he started Fluoxetine.

Yes, these are very heavy meds that we watch daily for side effects. But without them, he was a shell.

And it doesn't work for everyone. I am by no means a medical professional.

But I am a mom who was lost, watching her child in a downward spiral. With the help of therapy, IEPs, ABA and medication, Mr. A is thriving.