How Autism Made Me A Better Mom

When R was younger, I recall her coming in from school and getting her snack before being told to do her homework. And that's just what she did. She needed minimal assistance. Maybe some new math work was confusing her or she had a project that required the help of mom and dad. Otherwise she handled her shit. If she got it wrong, it would be corrected by the teacher and she would learn from her mistakes. Now we have a 17 year old in Advanced Placement and Honors classes because essentially, her homework was her job.

I have always been a working mom so after school programs have been a way of life. There was no parental chit chatting at normal pickup time. No after school play dates. No PTO volunteering or school committee meetings.I was not a part of her school years and she survived.

Fast forward 10 years later.

Since A's diagnosis, life has changed.

Maybe I can even say it has changed for the better in some areas.

Autism has made me a better mom.

I still work. Full-time. My kids still go to an after school program.

But it is autism that has made me want to be a part of their school lives. I need to know what A is doing for 8 hours a day. That means having relationships with the key people in his world. First name basis with teachers. Knowing that his school therapist also juggles the crazy life of work and raising kids, i think of us as kindred souls. I've made mom friends because A needs friends as well. How can I expect him so become comfortable in social skills if mom doesn't even know the other parents.

You can now find me researching the school budget, knowing who my school committee members are and attending PTO sponsored events.

And I like it.

It has given me purpose as a parent. I had a kid that was the proverbial swimmer...throw her in and she swam. I now have a doggie paddler....and without mom being involved, he would be in the deep end way over his head. My involvement is his life vest or shall I say, swim lesson?

A's diagnosis changed all our lives but it made me feel worthy of being called mom.