There Is Always Tomorrow

I walked out of the train station today on my work analyzing every male face I came across. What was he like as a child. What does he deal with now. I find myself doing this as I wonder how A will be when he grows up. I've though a lot about this lately. What inner demons will he have to battle? Will he grow up and find love? Will he drive a car? Hold a job that he likes? Will my husband and I be able to go away on a vacation without worrying? And will R be able to take care of him when we are no longer able to?

Its a heavy burden I have carried on my shoulders since his diagnosis. It's the unknown. And my shoulders are tired.

I always tell my A that no matter what happens today, we can start off fresh tomorrow. It has become our mantra, a way to get through the difficult days and know that they won't last forever. It's also a comfort for me. That at the end of the night, when I lay my head on the pillow and drift off to sleep, I get 8 hours rest from the worry.

Lately his diagnosis feels new to me. I've started over with the research on how we can help him live his best life possible. I may not have a PH.D but I have studied more about autism then anything else in life. Research papers, case law, medicinal trials. We medicate, use essential oils, take probiotics, ABA therapy....you name it, I have tried it. It consumes my thoughts most of the time where I feel like there is nothing else.

And then their is sadness. A is a smart 8 year old. Smarter then most I'd say. He knows that he doesn't have friends because he scares them. Because who in reality, as a child, wants to watch a boy bang his head off a wall and think "that's normal". He's quirky with no filter. He will tell you exactly how it is, out loud, no indoor voice. Most people find that rude and insulting. I am just happy he is communicating.

When we received A's diagnosis of "moderate ASD", I knew it was spot on. Other kept saying "oh he's high functioning" and "he's so smart, he will grow out of it". You don't "grow" out of autism. You may learn coping mechanisms to get through life. The reality is, A can be high functioning when he has had his daily medication and all the stars have aligned. We love these days because his brain gets a minimal break from the anxiety of life and my brain gets a minimal break from the daily worry.

And then I think of our mantra: "There is always tomorrow".

I Use To Judge Other Parents

There. I said it.

I was that judgmental parent. The kind that I look at now and remind myself that karma. It's real.

Thou shalt not judge. I was raised on this. But yet I was one to give the stink eye to everything I am now.

1. "Don't let your kids sleep with you".

• Sleep is a very precious thing and when you have a child that wakes at 2am and will not go back to sleep, you pull down the covers, put on Nick at Nite and invite them into bed. I don't care what age they are......sleep is sleep. Especially when they are the energizer bunny from 6am - 8pm on a normal basis.

      2. "Fast food is the devil......specifically McDonalds"

• Chicken Nuggets are a god send. I'm happy your child eats fruits and veggies but my child only eats foods that are beige in color. Carbs all day long. Children are starving all over the world....I'm just happy he actually eats. Drive thru here we come!!!

       3. "Cook one meal and if he doesn't eat it, go to bed hungry".

• Tonight I made chicken nuggets for one child, spaghetti for another and then dinner for me and hubs.  3 meals is easier then listening to one child complain, meltdown and otherwise ruin MY peaceful dinner. Also, refer to #2 because he doesn't eat anything but foods that are beige.

       4. "He's too old/too big to ride in the shopping cart"

• I agree with this because who honestly wants to push around an 84lb child in a grocery store cart? The alternate however, is him running through the store, touching everything on the shelves, picking all the beige food he could possibly eat and having numerous adults tell me how to discipline my child. No thank you. So into the carriage he goes and we pray nothing triggers a meltdown.

I no longer judge. I wanna high five the mom pushing her kid in the shopping carriage. Who knows, she may have been up all night with a rambunctious child and her only hope of completing grocery shopping is promises of McDonalds' chicken nuggets (don't forget the ketchup).

What This ASD Family Wants You To Know

I see you.

You've changed your profile picture on Facebook to "Light It Up Blue".

You've liked my posts related to autism.

You may have even changed your outside lights to blue bulbs to show your support.

But what are you REALLY doing to understand and support those with autism?

1. Acknowledge that those on the spectrum, their families and loved ones and not just looking for you to be aware of autism, they and us, are looking more for ACCEPTANCE.

2. Teach. If you are a parent, please teach your children to be friends with the kids that are different. Teach them to be compassionate and understanding. Teach them to protect and defend the more vulnerable kids. If you are a teacher, make sure part of your classroom lesson includes peer inclusion. The world can be a very lonely place and depression is far more common in those with developmental disabilities.

3. Its called "Autism SPECTRUM Disorder" because there is a broad range or disorders. So while you may know someone whose child flaps her arms, the next child on the spectrum might not. Never assume our children will act a certain way.

4. There is no cure. Mr. A will be autistic forever. Kids grow up into adults and we have to focus on our adult ASD society as much as children.


The biggest thing you can do is be aware ALL YEAR LONG. Not just April.

Good Doesn't Mean Great....But Its Not Bad Either

When it's good, it's good.

Like really, really good.

In the past 4 months, A has found his rhythm. I've caught him reading to himself, using polite words, brushing his teeth by himself. Small victories to most, these are big wins in our household.

However.......

Then you get a call from school and your anxiety goes through the roof because why would the school call. (We live in a world of anxiety during school hours).

Well, they call because the computer didn't load fast enough and A thought he would miss out on computer time. His favorite time.

Dear Apple.....thank you! Thank you for iPads and iMacs.

So he threw a chair, flipped a table and ran to his adjustment councilor, his "safe" place. After going to the Occupational Therapy room for some sensory stimulation, he then cried (post meltdown emotional release) because he realized it wasn't the great day he promised mom when he said good-bye that morning.

No matter how good it can be, no matter how much therapy he attends or medication he takes, he still and will forever be autistic.

Always.

There is no cure. No magic pill and no amount of therapy that will take it all away.

He will never be neurotypical.

So when I say it's good, really really good, it just means we are staying afloat.

We have our arm floaties on.

Why We Chose To Medicate

You know, I was that mom.

The thought of pumping my child full of drugs scared me.

I looked into diet changes, therapy, schedule changes.

I didn't want my child to me a "zombie"......I didn't want to change his personality.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Yup, that is me laughing now when I look back and realize my child was a zombie before we started medication. He had a personality that was mean, aggressive and miserable.

Have you seen a 6 year old destroy an entire classroom?

I currently do not have a toilet paper holder because he ripped it right off the wall.

I've run down the street, chasing a barefoot kid running away because it doesn't know how to cope.

Now, 10 months since starting his first medication (which gave him horrible side effects) and experimenting with different types, different dosages, I can say medication gave us our son back. He's not a zombie but a fun loving kid that is now able to enjoy life. His Ritalin allows him to focus in school. The Tenex helps with his impulses, OCD and anxiety. Have you heard a 7 year old say I want to die? I don't hear it anymore since he started Fluoxetine.

Yes, these are very heavy meds that we watch daily for side effects. But without them, he was a shell.

And it doesn't work for everyone. I am by no means a medical professional.

But I am a mom who was lost, watching her child in a downward spiral. With the help of therapy, IEPs, ABA and medication, Mr. A is thriving.

Why We Celebrated An ASD Diagnosis

No, there were no balloons or cake. There wasn't a special dinner or even a small party.

What there was, was a sigh of relief.

Yes, there were tears but there was hope.

HOPE.

Now as we enter a new year, people are thinking of their resolutions. They are preparing to leave the past behind, to wish away the old and welcome in the new.

I will never forgot 2016 because it was actually a great year. A year of answers.

A year of HOPE.

It started out rough. Or a better word would be catastrophic.

We had emergency room visits, self harming threats, running away, leaves of absence from work, pulling A out of school, bullying, tantrums, and so much more.

HOWEVER......we had a diagnosis. An answer. A plan.

HOPE.

We then focused on IEP plans, therapy, medication, 1:1 aids, learning and advocating. We started to understand the world of A.

So while I look forward to 2017, to new therapies, new treatments and more advocating, I can appreciate 2016.

Sometimes a diagnosis can be negative.........A's diagnosis saved him.

Surviving The Holidays

The cooking. The decorations. Gift giving. Holiday movies and hot cocoa.

I have always loved holidays. The sense of family and togetherness. The beautiful lights and delicious foods. Christmas trees and pumpkin pies. Curling up on the couch and watching Rudolph. The feeling of warmth and family.

Before A's diagnosis, we would pack our bags and visit multiple family members. It had always resulted in a very cranky A and very cranky parents. Some would think he was rude when exclaiming "this is not what I asked for from Santa" or that every single food prepared was not what he liked. And the puking. Oh the puking. Sensory overload!!!! And I always thought he was just being difficult. Little did I (we) know......

Lights.

Music.

Long lines.

For an autistic child (and parent), Christmas isn't always as magical as those lead you to believe. A is beyond excited that his elves, Sal and Spinner, have returned. The thought of new toys has him beaming ear to ear. But there is so much more to deal with during the holiday season.

"Want to tell Santa what you want for Christmas"?

"No mom, I'll send him a note" (not just an autism thing).

Now let's throw in 10 days off from school. There goes his routine.

Holiday pictures? Not for the kid that can't bear to wear anything other then sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Pizza for Christmas? Of course!!! This is the only thing he eats lately (well, add corn dogs, pizza rolls and pizza bagels to the list).

Now we are going to visit family and everyone wants a hug and a kiss. Well A doesn't hug or kiss anyone but mom and dad.

Oh and my favorite.....A is honest about everything and will blurt it out. Give him a gift he doesn't like. He's going to tell you. I can feel my cheeks getting red just thinking about it.

To keep the magic alive, please don't be offended by our holiday pictures with the kids in sweats. If I show up at your house with a frozen pizza, don't be insulted. We won't have a picture to post of us with Santa and A may not give you a hug (a high five you can count on though).

Our magic may not be the same as everyone else's but it's our magic and we love it!

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Festivus!

Dear Me Six Months Ago

Dear Me,

As you sit here in the doctor's office waiting to find out A's diagnosis, I want to let you know a few things.

It is going to be a long road. Life as you know it will change. But it will get easier. Each day you will celebrate accomplishments, even on the toughest days. But it will get easier.

When you are at your weakest, you will find this is when your other kids are strong. They will lead A, teach him and love him for who he is. They will understand his struggles. And they will be your strength when you feel like you have given all you can give.

You will meet amazing people in the ASD community. Some will be local, some will be online. All will become your friends. And all are routing for A.

It is okay to say no. When you are invited to holiday events and birthday parties, it is okay to say this just doesn't work for us. This doesn't work for A. Saying no is okay.

He is still the same silly boy that loves wrestling, doing flips and playing soccer. Regardless of what they tell you, he is still A.

You will cry. In the shower, in the car and cry your self to sleep. CRY! It's already a scary world we live in....you will wonder how he will maneuver it when you are gone. But when you are done crying, wipe away the tears and fight. Fight so that you don't have to worry about his future.

More then anything, love him deeply. Tell him every day. There can be cruel people in the world and no doubt he will come across them. So love him with a strength more powerful then words.

Sincerely,

The Future (Stronger) You

10 Things My Autistic Child Has Taught Me

Raising a child on the spectrum can be tough. Some days I seriously don't know how we got through the day.

But each day we do.

Each day is a learning experience, not just for A but for all of us. It is not just his world but our world as well.

If he has taught me anything, it has been to never doubt myself as a parent......oh and these other 10 things below:

1. You will learn you have way more patience then you ever thought you had. 
2. You wear a pair of invisible boxing gloves because you are always prepared for a fight.
3. Throw out all the advice from parenting books because 4 hours of television and 2 hours on the tablet make our Saturdays a lot calmer.
   
4. Your child will not be harmed from eating pizza and chicken nuggets every.single.day.
5. For a kid that hates loud noises, he makes a lot of them himself.
6. Professionals know a lot about autism but no one knows my child like I do.
7. People will stare. Take the opportunity to educate them on ASD.
8. It's okay to worry about their future, just don't let it take over the present. Enjoy every moment.
9. Watching him sleep gives me peace, knowing his brain is getting a little rest.
10. No matter how hard the days get, how long the journey becomes, I would never change who my child is.

Extra Super Moon...Be Very Afraid!!!!

On November 14th, the moon will make it's closest pass to earth since 1948. Did I mention it will also be a full moon? I guess this bad boy has a name.

An EXTRA SUPER MOON!!!

ASD parents prepare.....get your bottle's of wine ready because this is not going to be good.

For those unfamiliar with the ASD world, on autism board across the world, you'll find parents posting about their child's changes during a full moon. They seem to get a little angrier, a little grumpier and a little more emotional.

We have watched A's behavior during the average full moon. He becomes a bit crankier, uneasy to sooth and nights become sleepless. Seriously, who doesn't want to watch Nick @ Nite at 2am. Just when I thought life with A couldn't get any more "wonkier" then it is, it does!

Now I am not calling my child a lunatic however, there is a reason it comes from the word "lunar". Just saying.

So while there are Doomsday preppers filling basements with gallons of water and batteries, call this mama a Full Moon prepper.

Wine? Check!

Stocked Keurig coffee collection? Check!

Proper shoes for walking on eggshells? Check!

Now we wait........

What Do You Know About High Functioning Autism?

Many of those on the spectrum have tics. Whether they spin, flap their arms or chew their (toe)nails, it allows them to "self sooth" when they are overwhelmed, excited, upset or anxious.

A's major tic is nail biting. Fingers and toes, he does not discriminate. He becomes fixated on it to the point that we've had bloody fingers and practically missing toenails. And did I mention, he hates band aids? Many of those in A's life don't see this part of him.

There are so many things that go unseen in the world of A. Because of this, I often hear that "he must be high functioning" or "he looks like he is doing well".

A has his moments when he can "pass". Pass you ask? Yup, pass for being a neurotypical kid. From the moment he wakes, to socializing in school, to getting through homework without help or a complaint. He can pass.

Ask us at 2am when he is wide awake watching TV for hours if he is doing well though.

When he sits in the back seat of my car talking to his big brother and repeats one word, so softly you can barely hear it, over and over and over. That's his Palilalia (click here to learn more about it). I listened to the name Christopher over and over for a good 30 seconds this morning.

When he tells me he doesn't want to live anymore because of his "stupid autism", I am not seeing a high functioning little boy.

No, he may not be in a wheel chair so his disabilities may go unseen to the average person. But they are there, he lives with them day in and day out.

Why must we separate those with Autism into "functioning" categories? When we do this, we are just creating another label in a world where we are judged by these labels. That "high functioning" kid doesn't need as much therapy because he's barely autistic, right? Or maybe you'd assume that the non-verbal child on the spectrum is "low functioning" because they can't communicate? Or can they?

When people can't necessarily see a disability, it's like they need a word to define the degree of the disability.

Bottom line is high and low functioning labels are pointless. Acknowledge that every autistic individual has their own sets of strengths and weaknesses and focus on getting them the support to deal with both

Humanity Stopped Listening

I know I am not alone when I say the 2016 political year has been ugly.

UGLY

No matter what news report you listen to, no matter what online source you follow, it is all hateful. There came a point when the issues were forgotten and it became a he said/she said tantrum of events. I cringe when I log onto social media, a place where I share stories about my children, a place where I go to follow friends I don't get to see often, and all I see are repulsive attitudes. Cyber bullying at it's finest.

So as I normally write about autism and disabilities, how does this relate to my root cause?

I often wonder how I can expect society to accept my child, to be kind, to teach your own children about acceptance, when in fact society can't practice it themselves?

I tend to think I will spend the rest of my life on this earth fighting the fight, fighting his fight. Being that mama bear that has to protect it's young because I have no faith in humanity.

When I have friends still using the word "retarded" to refer to a political figure, I guess they are not my friends after all. When you belittle someone online for their political choice, you are a bully. Plain and simple. And while I hope you are not passing that mentality on to your children, the ones that sit with my son at lunch, chance are they are learning it from you.

Remember when your mom taught you "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

Humanity stopped listening to their mom.

It's Not Just About The Puzzle Piece

I saw a beautiful scarf recently covered in puzzle pieces. I pointed it out to hubby that I would love this scarf, that it would accent my work outfits. He said buy it.....the money will go towards autism awareness.

I am all for "lighting it up blue", jewelry and clothing with puzzle pieces and donations to societies that fund research.

True autism awareness is not those things I just listed though, at least not to me.

It's explaining to friends why we didn't go to your child's birthday party at the dark, indoor mini-golf course (sensory overload).

It's seeing another parent to a child on the spectrum and giving that look like "you're not alone".

It's taking your child to a restaurant and dealing with the stares when he gets so upset over them not having his favorite food.

It's taking the time during all those instances to educate society on why my child is not like yours.

It's writing a blog so people can see the good times and the bad, so parents can have someone to relate to in a world that can feel so lonely.

So I will continue my donations, my puzzle piece shopping and my blue light bulb because if nothing, it sparks conversation.

But truly making society aware that I'm not a bad parent, that autism doesn't have a look and that I can't spank the "bad" out of him comes from being a proud parent to an amazing ASD child.

The "C" Word

I am not referring to that big bad word I have used on occasion to describe a woman that has stared as A has a meltdown in the store. Not that word.

While A is diagnosed on the spectrum he also has other diagnosis'.

These are called comorbidities.

These can be hard to diagnosis because many comorbid traits overlap with autism.

They can range from ADHD to epilepsy.

A has a handful of comorbid diagnosis' that can make determining issues difficult at times.

• ADHD - Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

I feel as though nowadays a lot of people have heard of ADD or ADHD. Basically if your child is hyper and won't sit still, they probably have ADHD. WRONG!!! Many kids (and adults) that are ADHD are not hyper. They may have difficulty paying attention or focusing on one thing for a length of time. A has a combined type. He has difficulty focusing, is fidgety, talks excessively and doesn't know how to play quietly.

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

A worries.  He worries about not having friends. He worries about if they decide to change the lunch at school from pizza to something he hates. He worries if mom goes away. He worries that he won't be able to get through the school day without getting in trouble. He worries. He worries a lot.

• Sensory Processing Disorder

Do you go to Target and open packages of socks to try on till you find the right brand? Does your kiddo wear noise cancelling headphones in the lunchroom? Maybe they don't hug anyone other then you and dad because the touch is uncomfortable. A loves the color orange...specifically neon because it is visual appealing and gives his senses a good feeling. He needs to jump or crash a lot. It makes him feel good....almost complete.

So while autism is a big part of our life, we acknowledge that there is so much more going on in that beautiful mind of A.

My Annoying Little Bother....I Mean Brother.

"Play with me G".

This is screamed through my house on a daily basis. Some days big brother G is okay with playing with the little bother. Other days, he couldn't be bothered (see what I did there?).

While most of us are understanding and trying to learn and maneuver the world of A, there is one guy that looks at his little brother as the same little brother he has always had. There are no changes.

And A can be annoying. He makes weird noises. He growls, grunts and has throat clearing tics. It drives us crazy but we understand why he does it. G does not.

I've bought numerous books on autism, geared towards kids and siblings. G has read them. he has even pointed out the "A does that too"! But it still doesn't register, because to G, A is still just his little brother.

We walk a fine line between making sure G has his own identity, his own alone time, but also ensuring that he makes quality time for the bother, er brother.

At times I wish G could understand A's autism......but for the most part I am happy G looks past it and just sees his little brother as his little bother. They way siblings should be.

Educate Yourself

I knew something wasn't quite right, something had changed.

A was acting different.

So I started reading. Some days this can be bad. You know those times when you have a headache and your seeing little floaty things so you go to Web MD. You have now diagnosed yourself with glaucoma, a concussion or an eye tumor.

In reality, you're dehydrated and sat up too fast.

This time my reading was good. It pointed to things like SPD, OCD and ADHD. Then I noticed the tics. In the back of my head I knew he was autistic. How could this happen all of a sudden?

I couldn't dwell on the how, I needed to focus on the "what now".

Once A received his formal diagnosis, I started reading as much as I could. Medical books, self help books, thesis' writing by pre-med students, case law and actual disability law. I knew that there would be people that would fight us, try and deny A services. I was just stocking up my arsenal.

As parents, whether your child is physically disabled, on the spectrum or neurotypical, you must educate yourselves in whatever effects their life.

It is our job to fully understand our children. Be a part of their school life. Their education. Their extracurricular activities.

Educate your self. It's the most important thing you can do in your child's life.

How Autism Made Me A Better Mom

When R was younger, I recall her coming in from school and getting her snack before being told to do her homework. And that's just what she did. She needed minimal assistance. Maybe some new math work was confusing her or she had a project that required the help of mom and dad. Otherwise she handled her shit. If she got it wrong, it would be corrected by the teacher and she would learn from her mistakes. Now we have a 17 year old in Advanced Placement and Honors classes because essentially, her homework was her job.

I have always been a working mom so after school programs have been a way of life. There was no parental chit chatting at normal pickup time. No after school play dates. No PTO volunteering or school committee meetings.I was not a part of her school years and she survived.

Fast forward 10 years later.

Since A's diagnosis, life has changed.

Maybe I can even say it has changed for the better in some areas.

Autism has made me a better mom.

I still work. Full-time. My kids still go to an after school program.

But it is autism that has made me want to be a part of their school lives. I need to know what A is doing for 8 hours a day. That means having relationships with the key people in his world. First name basis with teachers. Knowing that his school therapist also juggles the crazy life of work and raising kids, i think of us as kindred souls. I've made mom friends because A needs friends as well. How can I expect him so become comfortable in social skills if mom doesn't even know the other parents.

You can now find me researching the school budget, knowing who my school committee members are and attending PTO sponsored events.

And I like it.

It has given me purpose as a parent. I had a kid that was the proverbial swimmer...throw her in and she swam. I now have a doggie paddler....and without mom being involved, he would be in the deep end way over his head. My involvement is his life vest or shall I say, swim lesson?

A's diagnosis changed all our lives but it made me feel worthy of being called mom.

Finding Friendship

A gets so upset when big brother G hangs out with friends. All A has ever wanted were friendships, to hang out with other kids and just have fun.

Well, he got his wish.

Granted, mommy made it happen because A's social awkwardness tends to get in the way, but it happened none the less.

Thank you to his school buddy for hanging out, playing Lego's and video games and just showing A that friendships are possible.

Happiness comes in friendships

Kindness Does Exist

It's our 3rd day of school and we haven't been kicked out yet. I'm joking. Kinda.

When I met A after school yesterday, his smile said it all.

"How was your day buddy"?

"I love 2nd grade".

Best response ever.

So when we showed up in line this morning, we started our line up ritual. Hubby found that Rock, Paper, Scissors reduces his before school anxiety. We spend a few minutes talking about our daily expectations, after school activities and then jump into rock, paper, scissors before the teacher comes out.

This morning we had a visitor to our line. A little girl showed up with a plastic bag in hand.

Little girl: "Hi A, I brought you a present. Close your eyes".

A: Okay (closes his eyes but peeks though)

Little Girl: "I got you a Chewbacca Furbie! Because you had a Chewbacca backpack last year"!

A: "Wow. This is awesome (and proceeds to make the Chewbacca growling noise).

I know that A was so happy not at the toy but at the thought of having someone like him enough to give him a gift. I was just happy to just have a little girl recognize that A is a pretty cool kid that loves Star Wars.

I challenge you all to make a difference in someones life.

Deliver a meal to an elderly relative. Offer a ride to someone without a car. Volunteer. Be kind.

There is someone out there that can use your kindness. Maybe one day you'll be on the receiving end.

#GoBeKind

MY VILLAGE JUST GREW BY ONE

Today is the 1st day back to school. I should have ended that sentence with an exclamation point however, it is not something I have looked forward to. Sleepless nights, worrying over IEP's, new teachers and new friends (potential) has left this mama with more anxiety then A has going to the Rain Forest Cafe!


A woke up a little earlier then normal but after going to bed by 8:30pm and sleeping the entire night in his bed, I know this morning was off to a good start. We decided to walk to school because even the shortest walks gets out some of his energy before being asked to pay attention for a few hours.

We found his line immediately and A was pleasantly surprised that his classroom line was next to his big brothers.

We chatted with old friends and patiently waited for the teachers to come outside.

I spotted his guidance councilor and made a mental note to grab her ear as soon as possible.

The teachers started filing out the door, heading to their classroom lines. I saw A's teacher approaching as she shook every child's hand and introduced herself to us parents. I had requested this teacher in particular. She has a larger population of foreign children and we have come to learn that they have been the least likely to pick on Angelo for his disabilities.

Once A's teacher passed by us, another woman stopped by to introduce herself. She said she would be in A's class so I assumed she was the SPED teacher.....but no, I was wrong.

She is A's 1:1 aid!

I was elated. A had an aid for the last quarter of the school year last year and his behavior improved immensely. Having someone prompt when it's time to change task is huge for A. Without his aid I'm not sure if he would have made it to 2nd grade.

I wanted to hug his aid. And cry out of happiness. With that one handshake, all of my anxiety disappeared.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I just added a new family member to that village. That gives me justification to rewrite the first sentence above.

Today is the 1st day back to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First day of 2nd grade!